7:00 in the morning and we are out of the Sault: stuffed in my Impala and with a coffee induced state of wakefulness.  All that stands between us and 2 full days in one of the greatest cities in Canada is almost 1000 km of road and about 13 hours – ok, when put that way it sounds pretty horrendous actually. However, like a beacon of light at the end of a tunnel, Burger World in North Bay provides a great halfway point between here and there while providing some amazing burgers as well. It’s also a good preparation for the absolute void that is the stretch between North Bay and Ottawa. Seriously, you see that picture? Nice right? Now look at it for 5 hours.

We get to Montreal and a quick phone call later, the guy opening the apartment shows up and gets us inside “la suite” tout suite. Greetings, chocolate covered blueberries, handshakes and we’re ready to go out on the town. Our friends (and probably the greatest Montreal tour guides ever) Ashleigh and Dave (or “French Dave” as we call him) aren’t home yet, so we’ve got to survive on our own. Mission #1: Something to eat. First place that comes to everyone’s mind: La Banquise. Out comes the phone to locate the world famous poutine place, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s just around the corner. Words cannot adequately describe the T-Rex poutine. It’s a marvel of meat, cheese, gravy, and fries. In fact, so much meat that it’s hard to even notice that there are fries beneath. What type of meat you ask? Why, every type of meat: Ground beef, bacon, hotdogs, and pepperoni; So freaking good. Sporting an newly acquired meat, cheese, and gravy ball-and-chain we head back to the apartment and pass out.

The next day I awoke refreshed and ready to start the day. This was probably due to me sleeping in a bed rather than the kitchen floor like last year’s trip. Yes, I’m sad to say that the fridge slept alone this year. Ashleigh was eager to show us the Montreal Markets in the morning so off we went. As soon as we walked in Ashleigh pointed us toward La Crêperie du Marché. Now, I’ve never had a crêpe that I’ve enjoyed – so skeptically I ordered a supper crêpe that had ham, cheese, mushrooms, and béarnaise sauce. And so my eyes were opened to what a crêpe should taste like.

At this point I’m getting used to the slight feeling of culture shock in Montreal (I guess there’s something about eating a Crêpe in a french speaking province that does it). There’s something about being in a place where everyone around you is speaking french BUT can still understand everything you’re saying in English. I noticed around me that there were still some people who hadn’t quite grasped this concept. Most comedically, two women speaking quite loudly in english about something that they probably wanted to remain fairly private – I’ll just leave that right there.

Noon rolls around and it’s time for mission #2: Tattoo. We head to Art Cyniq and talk with Badj (who we met on the trip last year). Easily one of the greatest tattoo artists I’ve ever met; this guy knows what he’s doing. He gets the stencil all drawn up and then it’s time for a 6 hour tattoo marathon. For those who’ve never had a tattoo but have thought about it, it’s not that painful: kinda like a prolonged cat scratch. Thin outline, thick outline, shading, then colour and the masterpiece is complete. Badj did an amazing job, I could not have asked for a better final product. If you’re heading to Montreal and you’ve thought about getting a tattoo. Give Badj a call at Art Cyniq. Just take my advice and eat more than just a crêpe for breakfast (hindsight: 20/20).

Delusional with hunger, we walked around the city while Ashleigh and French Dave carefully analyzed each restaurant we passed finally coming to a rest at a bring-your-own-wine Asian Cuisine Restaurant that will remain nameless because it was horrible (and because I forgot the name). After which, we all got ice cream to make up for the inedible meal and laid down in a park.

Woke up the next day (in our apartment, not the park) and ate at Frite Alors! which easily won the best meal of the trip award. I had the Hamburger Texan (beef, grilled mushrooms, bacon gruyère, and barbecue sauce) and as a dip for the fries I had the Américaine which was a mayonnaise with paprika, garlic, shallots, onions, and harissa. I cannot tell you how amazing this burger was because doing so would cause me to completely lose control of my saliva glands, and I like my keyboard too much. After lunch, I found an SAQ (quebec’s LCBO). It took a couple different SAQ’s, but this one finally had exactly what I was looking for: Crystal Head Vodka. I ran in and cleaned out their entire stock of this skull-clad vodka (5 bottles for friends and family) and was on my way.

As for the afternoon, the girls headed into old Montreal and had pie, while I headed back to Art Cyniq to watch my best friend cringe and twitch through his tattoo. After that we rendezvoused downtown and ate at L’Académie. Ashleigh and French Dave informed us that at L’Académie, all of the chef’s are students which is why the prices were so low for such a fancy restaurant. Unfortunately, the pasta con poso was a bit undercooked, but it did make for a nice picture.

Bellies full, we headed to what would be our last stop this trip: Cafe Gitana – a nice little bar that offers a place to smoke flavoured tobacco (shisha). This place is always a nice and relaxing cap to the Montreal trip. Another year down and a small step closer to getting into Au Pied De Cochon and eating it’s world famous foie gras. I may have missed out this year, but I assure you – someday… someyear I will get into that restaurant. Maybe next year I’ll spend a little less time in a tattoo parlour.

Can you believe it’s already April-2011!!  Wasn’t it only yesterday that we were getting ready for the Christmas holidays? It seems that time is rushing by me at a very fast pace!

Don’t you find, that the older you get, the faster time goes by? You don’t have to be “old” to experience this phenomenon. Just stand at any water cooler on any given Monday morning and there is usually a litany of laments from all ages of how fast the weekend went by.

I have a theory that there is an enjoyment/time relationship!

Here’s the rationale:

Fact# 1 – Time is constant – and I’m speaking from a very general perspective. The same number of seconds makes up a minute; the same number of minutes makes up an hour, the same number of hours makes up a day and so on and so on.

Fact# 2 – The Enjoyment/Time Relationship! The more you are enjoying yourself: the faster time will go by. Conversely, the less enjoyment you are experiencing the slower time passes. Think – passing a kidney stone … Need I say more! L

Fact# 3 – Physics has taught me that if you travel fast enough, time will slow down. Jump into a spaceship and travel out into space, returning to earth many years later and you will have aged less than those who are earth bound. … What’s with that!!! – This is rhetorical

If the universe can slow time – albeit under certain circumstances – then why can’t it inverse the enjoyment/time relationship? Wouldn’t you rather have time slow down when you’re enjoying yourself then when you’re not having fun!

Maybe you’ve discovered the secret to reversing the enjoyment/time relationship? If so, spill the beans – we’d love to know your secret!

I’ve had quite enough. You have penetrated the walls of Fuzednotions this winter… forcing me to bundle up in my Snuggie with a space heater at my feet. I cuddle close to my thermos of coffee (aka. bean-water) every morning after the nippy 15 minute trek that you like to make so difficult for me.

Today I walked into work with frosted hair, wearing my very unfashionable snow pants and pea coat ensemble. Why must you make me embarrass myself even more then I already do?

Last night you froze my fingers. I came home and stared at my hands in horror as my numb fingers thawed… thankfully my roommate was more than willing to lend her armpits. So excuse me Jack… but  i need my fingers. I AM a designer. How would I click my mouse? What I’m getting at is – be a bit kinder!

Attached is an image of how I fight you off in this Northern Ontario climate. Hope you get a good laugh… and maybe feel a bit guilty.

Yours truly,
Cassie

The web of the late ‘90s is almost unrecognizable to the web now. Back at the turn of the century, the web was a wide open frontier, a near-blank canvas, and a primordial soup with all sorts of squiggly bits trying their best to grow feet. Squiggly bits like Geocities and Angelfire, that paved the way not only for web designers (like myself) but for the social networking Goliaths like Facebook and Twitter that we see today. The squiggly bits of yester-decade were faced with a very Darwinistic dilemma: evolve or be displayed as the dinosaur bones in an online museum.

In only ten years, the web has evolved faster than anyone could have predicted, and if you think that this freight train is slowing down, you’re about to get train-slapped (not a pleasant thing).  Thanks to things like the Open Source Movement, online innovation is increasing at an exponential rate. The web is no longer a foul-smelling stack of old encyclopedias, or even just a source of entertainment:
It’s how this generation communicates (Facebook)
It’s the largest store in the world (iTunes)
It’s an endless source of inspiration (See Video of Ze Frank’s TED Presentation below)
It’s a force to be reckoned with (Ted Williams Story)
It’s bridging the gap (Google Goggles)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gSSNHO1dDs

Intimidated? Don’t be. The web is still the frontier it’s always been. We’re just moving out of the old sod houses and into the luxury condos. The focus of the web is shifting away from informing your audience and towards engaging them, away from spectacle and toward function, and away from static and toward dynamic. Which brings me to my point:

Websites are not static, they will out-date, and they will damage the way you are perceived. That cute little lizard you’ve got sitting on your server right now will turn dinosaur on you if you don’t keep your eye on it. Keep feeding it fresh content, and keep it happy.

And if it’s too late, and that cute little lizard is now wreaking havoc on the Tokyo that is your online business perception (Godzilla reference), fret not; at Fuzednotions, we’re real good at dinosaur removal.

Beautifully constructed and geared towards creatives, of which I am, this is a graphic designers activity booklet. I feel like I can finally pick up an activity booklet and not cringe at the lack of aesthetic value. Instead I can curl up and just drool at every page of this wonderfully crafted booklet… careful not to wrinkle the pages with saliva.

I adore this company and I will be counting the days till I receive next years edition.

The following happened:

Halfway in the journey from utter disgust to gleaming happiness is this face; I guess it’s a step in the right direction. A couple more years and I’ll be one of those people waiting in a 30 car lineup in front of Tim Hortons, with a pounding caffeine headache, shaking with anticipation and withdrawals for my 9 am bean-water fix.
– Alright I’ll confess, it was actually a Mocha Latté that I drank, which is not so much coffee as it is hot chocolate with the slightest essence of coffee – but it still counts.